How your desire to be extraordinary is holding you back
Updated: Jan 14, 2018
Do you have a secret wish to be special and stand out from the crowd? Perhaps you want to create only very original and groundbreaking work, be seen for your unique talents?
Photo: Kaja Koort
Your desire to be extraordinary and special is holding you back big time. The earlier you start accepting that you are just like everyone else, the better it gets.
You are ordinary. How does it sound? How does it sound to hear that you are ordinary in a world where everyone is trying to convince you that you are special?
Before you get pissed off at me, please hear me out.
The need to create something extraordinary and unique paralyzes people and holds them back from taking action.
They stay stuck, they suffer and feel frustrated and scream that they don't want to be in the same box like everyone else. Well, frankly there isn’t any box.
Most of my life I had a belief that I have to be extraordinary and create only original and unique things in this world. This statement is false by default. Who sets the bar for what is true uniqueness?
The earlier you start accepting that you are not Elon Musk nor Satoshi Nakamoto (or who knows, maybe you are >> please contact me in that case), the better it gets.
Then you take off the pressure of coming out only with your most groundbreaking work and can just let your creativity flow.
I often hear from people with huge passion and wish to create their own biz that “there are already too many similar businesses out there.” So they choose not to take action and stay stuck instead.
Although it’s very important to do your market research and find your unique selling proposition, don't procrastinate there. As soon as you start taking action, clarity will come and you will find your own special niche.
Have a look in your neighborhood, how many new hip cafes have opened their doors lately? It almost seems in some places you need to prebook your takeaway coffee online. There's nothing really unique about their biz, they sell coffee. There is plenty of room for true passionistas, promise you!
Being extraordinary implies that there is an audience who is rating you and your work.
Most of our schools are based on a system that evaluates your worth assessed by your teacher. Your promotion at work is also reliant on the management that very often means single person.
When we get good grades and get promoted, we start feeling really good about ourselves and believe that there must be something special about us. The painful truth is that your grades and promotion is just a feedback of a small group of people (or a single person). Same goes for criticism that we are so often terrified of.
I’m not telling you not to be proud of your winning moments, but I'm telling you to give less meaning to it. Try to shift from doing things to get results and feedback, instead, focus on the process and enjoyment of it.
“I don’t want to be like everyone else” is often a mask that we so skillfully wear. Behind it there are often hiding a little boogeyman called “Fear of failure” and his little brother “I’m not good enough”. It feels safer not to take action at all than expose all of yourself. It’s a risky business indeed.
I always had a burning fire in me to share my message and everything that I’ve learned, experienced and witnessed over the past years, at live workshops. Last year I made it happen although the boogeyman and his little brother were standing by my side when I was speaking in front of live audience.
After my first workshop they realized that their attempt to stop me because of my foreign accent and far from perfect language skills didn’t make me back off, so they got so much quieter
The only way to move forward in life is to take action and screw up on the way, otherwise, you haven't truly lived.
What’s better anyways, being average and ordinary but doing things that give you that little flame within or seek for excellence in your head but spend most of your life on your sofa procrastinating and scrolling what people you don't even know have achieved in their lives.
Also, let me tell you a little secret. When you truly let go of the need to stand out, your true talents and uniqueness will come out, guaranteed.
I leave you with few questions to reflect on, try to find your honest answers:
What's your definition of being extraordinary and unique?
What does it give you to be different from others?
How has your need to stand out held you back in your life?
How can you focus more on YOU instead of looking at other people?